


Breathe

by garbage_dono



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: AU where honerva wasn't turned into a zombie I guess, Anxiety, Childbirth, Dayak takes no shit 2k18, F/M, Parenthood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 01:24:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16822342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garbage_dono/pseuds/garbage_dono
Summary: "Breath is life."Lotor and Allura welcome their first child into the world.





	Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the Lotura discord for continuing to provide me with writing prompts that cause me to accidentally a whole fic

“Lotor.”

He took a slow, steadying breath. Eyes closed, fingers curling against Allura’s palm as she clamped down on his hand. Her scream was rough, exhausted, grating on his ears and making something _lurch_ deep within his chest. His claws jabbed against her skin, but she barely seemed to notice-

“ _Lotor._ ”

His eyes snapped open, meeting his mother’s intense amber gaze.

“Son, you’re doing her no good in this state.”

“This _state-_ “ he snapped back before he could help it. “My child is being born – just what do you expect of me?”

Honerva barely seemed phased. In fact, she smiled, like the reply had been just what she expected. “Your father was the same when you were born,” she said. “So anxious he could barely stop pacing, and every time I cried out he looked like he was going to faint-“

Allura let out another scream, and Lotor’s head swam as he pressed his other hand over her knuckles and tensed against her bone-crushing grip.

“Yes, that’s the face,” Honerva laughed before turning her head up toward Allura. “Breathe now, child. Just have you have been. Breath is life.”

“Breath _isn’t helping,_ ” Allura insisted through gritted teeth, though she pulled in a rough lungful of air and let it out in a carefully measured exhale. “It’s been _vargas…_ ”

“And you’re doing wonderfully,” Lotor insisted, leaning in to smooth back her hair from her face. “Once our pup arrives this pain will be just a distant memory.”

“Oh, men truly know nothing of the trials we endure,” Honerva said with a knowing little chuckle, and Lotor fought back the childish urge to pout. “Son, listen to me now – your wife will be in the thick of it for quite some time yet, so instead of sitting here and stewing in your own anxiety-“

“I am not _stewing,_ ” he insisted.

“-you should go stretch your legs about the ship. Gather your thoughts. Release some of this tension however you see fit, and return with a clearer head.”

He stared at her. Flabbergasted. “ _Leave?_ ” he huffed. “Leave Allura? When she’s in the midst of giving birth to our pup?”

Allura threw her head back against the pillows with a cry, her expression screwed into a mask of agony. “Lotor, just _do as she says!_ ”

“Allura, are you sure you want me to-“

Before he had the chance to draw another breath, she had his collar gripped in her hand, pulling him down to her eye level and commanding in a low and _dangerous_ growl, “ _Do as your mother says._ ”

Honerva smiled at him, taking Allura’s hand in his stead and giving it a pat. “Take your time, my dear. She is in good hands.”

He stood on unsteady legs and took a step or two toward the door, aware for the first time of the sweat dripping down his brow and the quake in his fingers. He cast another glance back at Allura, gripping the sheets as his mother coached her through another pain with careful breaths and a gentle rocking motion of her hips. “I’ll be back,” he promised. Honerva nodded dutifully, but Allura barely seemed to hear him.

At least he had the luxury of taking a break from this battle. Allura would be stuck in the firefight for at least several vargas more. He prayed it would go easily. For his own sake as much as hers.

The ship was quiet this late into the night cycle, and yet he knew that none of its occupants were sleeping. Word of the empress’ labor was sure to have spread like wildfire through the ship, if not through the entire sector. Word had already been sent to the paladins, the Blade, the Garrison back on Earth…

It felt like the entire universe was waiting with bated breath for that first cry. It sent a fingerlike tendril of tension shooting up the back of his neck, and he let out a careful breath. He lifted his hand into the light, extending and retracting his claws and watching them glint under the purple glow.

She was in good hands. He knew it was true. So why couldn’t he get control over his own emotions? He’d had thousands of deca-phoebs to master the craft, and now, when he needed it most – when _Allura_ needed it most – his resilience was failing him.

“Sir.”

He turned on his heel. “Zethrid-“

Her brows arched. “Th-the empress – is she-“

“No,” he sighed. “Not yet. The pup is still vargas away, according to my mother…”

He could see her _dying_ to ask what the hell he was doing here, then. She was smart enough not to say it out loud. But he answered the question anyway, his shoulders slumping: “She insisted that I take a walk. Clear my head.”

It sounded even more ridiculous coming from his own lips. A Galra was meant to stay by his mate during times like this. And yet here he was hiding in the shadows like a child.

“Right,” Zethrid said, tentatively. “Er…the paladins are on their way. Less than a varga out. I think, anyway. It was hard to hear with all of them screaming at once.” She shrugged. “They’re all…really eager to know how the empress is doing.”

He stared down at his claws. “I’m sure.”

“Sir…do you…need anything?” He glanced up at her again. “To help clear your head.”

“No. Just be sure to see to the paladins when they arrive.” A beat. “And for fury’s sake, don’t let them all clamber into the birthing chambers at once. That’s the last thing Allura needs now.”

With a curt bow of her head, Zethrid told him, “Of course, sir,” and disappeared around the corner, leaving him alone once again.

Alone with his thoughts.

_Clear his head._

As if it were that easy.

* * *

“That’s it, love – breathe through this pain. Pain cannot kill you.”

Oh, sure, it was easy to _say_ as much. But Allura doubted death could be any worse than this.

She fell back against the pillows with a rough gasp, sweat sticking the hair to her brow and dripping down her temples. Before she knew it, it was mixing with tears, a sob catching in her throat and making it even hard to catch her breath.

What she wouldn’t give to have her mother by her side, holding her hand tight, combing her fingers through her hair. She yearned for it, more than she had in _deca-phoebs._

A cool cloth pressed against her temple, a soft hand smoothing over her jaw. “Now, now,” Honerva whispered. “There’s no need for tears. This is a happy day.”

She couldn’t help it – she drew a shaky breath and forced out, “I want my mother…”

Honerva tutted, wiping away the sweat from her skin and pushing back her unruly hair. “Oh, I remember that feeling well, child. My own passed away before my labor, and no hand beside hers seemed to be enough.” Allura glanced at her, and though her vision was clouded with tears she caught the glint of the woman’s smile. “It’s alright to miss her, you know. And it’s alright to long for her to be here now. I certainly don’t take it personally.”

She winked, and Allura surprised herself by letting out a laugh. “I certainly don’t mean anything by it.”

“I know you don’t.” She patted the crown of Allura’s head softly, her thumb grazing along her scalp in away that was _almost_ enough to soothe her. As close as she could ever wish for, at least. “And don’t you worry – my son will be back by your side soon enough, and he’ll be more of a comfort to you than you could possibly know.”

* * *

Lotor found a good stretch of hallway in a darkened corner of the ship, stars stretching as far as he could see on the other side of the windows arching up over his head. It had always been a good way to put things in perspective, or so Dayak was fond of reminding him – the universe was large, and its inhabitants were very small indeed.

Small, like the foot that had jammed against his palm when he had pressed it against Allura’s belly just a movement ago. Small, and yet so impossibly, _unimaginably_ large at the same time.

Deep in his chest, the tug of his instincts, carved immutably into his DNA, drew him toward the birthing chambers. _Go back to her,_ it screamed. _Go back to your mate._ And yet two steps down the hall, he paused again. Another force pulled him back. Held him there, with his feet frozen to the floor and the stars gleaming at the fringes of his vision.

When had he last _held_ a pup? He strained his memory, searching for the answer. Certainly it was too long to be of any significance. Too long to teach him the first thing about fatherhood.

A scuffle and a myriad of shouts echoed down the hall, enough to draw him out of his thoughts and make him turn his attention toward the corner. Ezor appeared, breathless and wide-eyed. “Sir-“ she panted, and a second later she was overtaken by the source of the noise.

“ _Lotor!_ ”

“What is he doing out here? I thought Allura was still in labor-“

“Oh my god – where is she? Did we miss it? Are we too late?”

“I tried to make them wait in the hangar,” Ezor sighed, pushing herself past Hunk and Pidge. “Zethrid said Honerva kicked you out.”

“She did not _kick me out,_ ” he insisted, indignant.

Ezor shrugged. “That’s what it sounds like to me.”

“Waitwaitwait – is Allura okay? Did she have the baby yet or not?” Lance was staring at him, far too close for his liking, and Lotor sighed as he pressed one hand against the young paladin’s shoulder and pushed him back a step.

“Not yet. Not for at least another few vargas.”

“Why did Honerva kick you out?” Pidge asked.

He bristled. “I told you, she _didn’t_ -“

“Wait for me, will you?” came another voice down the hall, and Coran came barreling around the corner, red in the face and panting just a moment later. “Ancients above, can’t you young sprites give your elders a chance to keep up?” He perked up quickly, his eyes settling on Lotor and sending one eyebrow arching upwards. “Ah – oh my, did we already miss it? Oh, tell me, is it a little prince or princess?”

“She’s still in labor,” Keith huffed. “He just got kicked out of the room for some reason.”

“ _Kicked out?_ ” Lotor didn’t bother correcting them again. Coran didn’t give him much of a chance anyway, stepping up close and eying him carefully. “And just why is that, eh? A doting father has one job while his lady is in labor, and that’s hand-holding duty!”

“Can we see her at least?” Lance piped up.

“If Honerva kicked Lotor out, we’ll probably get thrown right out too,” Pidge sighed.

Shiro caught his eye next. “She is doing okay, right?”

“Oh man…what if something goes wrong?” Hunk tangled his fingers in his own hair. “What if something’s going wrong _right now?_ And we don’t even _know?_ ”

“ _Enough!_ ”

All eyes turned toward Lotor again, and he pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers, claws digging into his own skin. At least it distracted from the tightness in his chest and the pounding of his heart. “Enough, all of you,” he growled. “I don’t need this, and Allura certainly doesn’t – just…just wait in the meeting hall.”

Five voices rose up in protest, and Lotor’s hands balled up into tight fists just a moment before Coran stepped between him and the paladins, hands raised. “Alright, alright – everybody just calm down!”

Finally, it was quiet again. Blessedly so. Coran reached up to twirl his mustache. “Ezor…would you be a dear and see them all to the meeting hall? I’ll catch up in a pevlovian wink.”

“Yessir,” Ezor said with a wide smile and a playful salute, and Lotor could only watch as she led them all away, still muttering and chattering all at once.

He breathed out a sigh, and a moment later Coran’s hand landed on his shoulder. “Now then-“ he said. “I think it’s time you and I had a little chat-“

“Coran, please…I assure you I’m more than familiar with Altean parental customs-“

“Pish, not about that!” When he looked up at Lotor again, his eyes were wide and shining with tears, and his voice wavered as he insisted, “I just need to know how Allura is doing – is she alright? Does she need anything? I dug out her Mister Snugglesworth from deep storage and brought it along just in case!”

“Mister…Snugglesworth?”

A moment later Coran was shoving a purple, fuzzy…something in his face. All polka dots and fluff with two shining black button eyes. “Oh, it brought her such comfort when she was a little thing! Couldn’t sleep without it! I thought it might do her some good now, but I just have to see her because I couldn’t stop worrying the entire flight here-“

Tears were streaking down his face, glistening in his mustache and making it sag. “Coran…I promise you, Allura is fine. My mother is the best medical alchemist in the empire. She won’t let anything…” He took a deep breath, trying to get himself to believe it as much as Coran. “…she won’t let anything happen to her.”

And yet he couldn’t stop this feeling in the pit of his stomach, his instincts pulling him with everything they had back toward the birthing chambers. His heart pounded, his palms sweating, his claws catching on the hem of his robe. He couldn’t go back to Allura in this state. He had to collect himself – or he wouldn’t be any good to her.

But births were _dangerous._ Hybrid births even moreso. His mother had been lucky. _He_ had been lucky. Just how much luck did the universe have to spare for them?

He swallowed, his mouth going dry as Coran said _something_ he couldn’t make out about deep space lightning storm that had left Allura inconsolable save for this fluffy purple thing in his hands. He had to get back. He had to be _useful._ If he couldn’t keep the pain at bay or bear it for her then he could at least assure her that he would be there for her and the pup no matter what came at them.

“ _What_ in the name of _Emperor Daksor the Unbent_ are you doing outside of that birthing chamber?” a voice rang out down the hall. Both he and Coran turned simultaneously, and they both laid eyes on the source at the same moment as she strode toward them. Tall. Imposing. Glaring hot daggers down her nose at them both.

“ _You-_ “ Dayak pressed a claws finger against the center of Lotor’s chest. “-should be by your mate’s side during this hallowed time, and yet here you are roaming the halls like a frightened lost child.”

“Ah-“ Coran wiped his eyes and nose and straightened up just a tick later, Mister Snugglesworth held proudly in front of him like a trophy. “Seems Lady Honerva sent him on a walk to clear his head. That’s what I gathered at least.”

Dayak stared. “ _Clear your head,_ ” she huffed at Lotor. “I’ve never heard something so ridiculous – when your mate is bringing forth your pups, you plant yourself by her side and let neither blade nor blaster remove you.”

Coran sniffled. “That Galra loyalty…it’s beautiful – just what Allura deserves-“

“And _you._ ” She turned toward Coran, pressing her crop against Mister Snugglesworth’s purple and white spotted fur. “Enough blubbering. This is a birth, not a memorial service. You’ll wait with the rest of the paladins wherever the emperor puts you-“

“The meeting hall,” Lotor added, tiredly.

“-and you will await news there. Out of the way. _Now,_ Emperor Lotor, you are coming with me.”

His eyes widened. “What-“

“I will _not_ let you wander the halls while your wife labors to bring forth your offspring with only her midwife for comfort. Come, this instant.”

“Don’t forget Mister Snugglesworth!” Coran insisted, and before Lotor could protest Coran pressed the stuffed toy into his arms just as Dayak shooed him away.

* * *

“Seems this little one is exceeding expectations,” Honerva hummed. She looked up and caught Allura’s eye from between her knees. “Catch your breath, my dear. And then another push with the next contraction.”

“Lotor…” Allura panted, gazing desperately at the door. “Where’s Lotor? He said he’d be back. He has to be here – why did you send him away? Why did _I_ send him away?”

“He’ll be here.” Honerva reached for a clean towel, getting situated again just as the pain intensified again. “Stay here, now – don’t wander outside this room, Allura. Your baby needs here here. Now _push-_ “

She did, and just as she did, the door slammed open. And there was Lotor – breathless, disheveled, holding-

“ _Mister Snugglesworth?_ ”

He barely even seemed to remember he was holding it as he stumbled inside and knelt beside her. “Allura-“ His hand smoothed back her hair, and she let out a breathless sob at the feeling of it. “I’m here…”

Her fingers found his, and she smiled through the pain. “I’m sorry I told you to go-“

“You were right to,” he sighed. “But I’m sorry to say that I won’t be going anywhere again no matter how much you insist.”

“That’s my boy,” Honerva said with a warm smile of her own. “Thank you for your assistance, Dayak.”

“As if I would let this one miss the birth of his first child,” Dayak huffed.

“Your timing is truly impeccable.” She looked up at Allura again with a sage nod. “Now dear, you know what to do.”

Allura held tight to Lotor’s hand, breathed in the scent of his hair and skin like it was anesthetic. She bore down against the pain, following the sound of Honerva’s increasingly enthusiastic voice, and with sweat pouring down her brow and exhaustion seeping into every inch of her, she let out one last breath and-

“A girl!” Dayak exclaimed. “A fine, strong baby girl!”

“And with a good pair of lungs,” Honerva added as the baby began to wail. Allura looked on, bleary-eyed and woozy as Honerva laid the baby against her chest with a proud, maternal smile. “I told you, my dear. Breath is life.”

Allura looked up at Lotor, tears streaking down her cheeks as she smiled. “A girl,” she whispered. “Oh, Lotor – look at her. She’s perfect. She’s…she’s perfect. And she’s _ours…_ ”

She watched him reach out and press a hand, impossibly gentle, against the baby’s arm. “Yes,” he said, and he pulled in a deep breath, letting it out in a steady exhale between lightly parted lips. “She is.”


End file.
